Hacked to Digital Death

So it’s being reported that Uber was hacked back in October of 2016 to the tune of over 57 million users – drivers and passengers – having their names, email addresses and phone numbers compromised. Fortunately, no social security numbers, credit card data or trip location details were stolen.

Hacked to Digital Death

How comforting.

Being data raped is nothing new for those of us living in the 21st century. Take a look at this partial list of “data compromises” (don’t you just love that phrase) we’ve endured so far:

Yahoo – 2013/2014 – 3 billion user accounts accessed

Adult Friend Finder – 2016 – 412 million user accounts accessed (raise your hand if you’re one of these unfortunates. Yeah, I didn’t think so. What’s more alarming here? That this many users were compromised – or that there are 412 million users)

eBay – 2014 – 145 million user accounts accessed

Equifax – 2017 – 143 million user accounts accessed

Target stores – 2013 – 110 million shoppers data accessed

TJX Companies (TJ Maxx and Marshalls) – 2006 – 94 million user accounts accessed

U S Office of Personnel Management – sensitive personal information of over 22 million current and former Federal Government employees (“Trust me, I’m from the Government and I’m here to help”)

Sadly, I could go on and on. Much like the horrific body counts in Chicago, Baltimore, the entire country of Mexico etc..we’ve become desensitized to the digital carnage. “Hey honey, there’s been a data hack at the XYZ corporation. I think we’d better change our password just to be safe.”

“Sure darling, I’ll get right on it – after dinner. I’m starving.”

Ho hum.

What’s fascinating about this particular hack is the way it was “managed.” As stated in the beginning of this article, the data compromise occurred in October 2016. However, the security breach was not made public until now, November 2017, more than a year after it was discovered by Uber executives, most notably ex-CEO and Uber founder, Travis Kalanick. At the same time Uber was trying to keep the hack under wraps from the public and hidden from miscellaneous Federal regulators, they unbelievably paid 100k to the people responsible for the hack with an understanding the crooks would not only delete the stolen data once the payment was received but also remain silent about the crime. How Uber was going to validate the thieves promised destruction of the data is unknown – also unknown is how long the hackers would wait before returning to the digital well for another 100k sip.

Blackmail – bit by bit.

The appropriate heads have rolled and a new management team is in place at Uber spouting the same old tired corporate platitudes about a “new customer-focused direction ahead,” and “new, more robust security procedures are currently being implemented to blah, blah blah your privacy and yada, yada, yada how much we value each and every customer and driver.”

Yeah, that’s what we want. More word head from a corporate schnook in a $900 suit.

In fact, if you’re a current or former Uber driver whose Drivers License data was “compromised,” the company is offering to provide you with free credit protection monitoring AND free identity theft protection.

How generous.

Honestly, with all of the hacks, breaches, compromises etc..etc..I don’t care anymore. With so many digital fish swimming in the information ocean I figure the odds of someone actually catching my card and using it to live large are pretty slim.

(Besides, just between you and me, I’ll have the last laugh if some genius Russian, Hungarian or Chinese hacker tries to use my credit information to buy a new Ferrari. I’m broke as shit and my credit score has to stand on its toes to tickle the belly of 500 – ha ha, fuck you, hackboy).

**This article was originally published on 28Nov2017**

Author: ThoughtMarauder

Cavalier, bomb-thrower, provocateur, neanderthal, father, proud US Army Airborne veteran, proud American, lover of many things: God, country, family, baseball, Scotch whiskey, cigars, old-school jazz, dogs, Sinatra, watches, shoes and sunshine..

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