I just signed a new contract as Commissioner of the NFL that pays me $34.1 MILLION dollars a year. I’m a tone deaf moron who stumbles, bumbles and fumbles his way from one image-damaging controversy to another – DeflateGate, Ray Rice, BountyGate, National Anthem Prostests, CTE, Domestic Violence etc..etc..
The depths of my cognitive dissonance are boundless. Team owners and I, rather than putting and immediate end to National Anthem kneeling, allowed them to continue which generated a huge controversy that likely caused 10% or more of our customers (roughly 2 million viewers per game) to permanently abandon our product.
Now I’ve made an executive decision to omit a simple and tasteful patriotic message from AmVets, a congressionally-sanctioned organization that has been advocating for, and supporting, American Veterans since 1944
from our commemorative Super Bowl LII program ($17.99) because I don’t believe politics should be a part of this organization.
Let me repeat that in case you didn’t hear how stupid I sound:
“I don’t believe political expression should be a part of our NFL
(The ThoughtMarauder just took two knees on that one).
Yes Yes, I know, I know..it seems impossible that someone as stupid as I am can not only earn $34.1 MILLION dollars year – but I also get free use of a Private Jet LOL..so maybe I’m not as stupid as I think you are..der..or as stupid as you think you are..er..or as stupid as..Oh piss on it..I’m taking the Private Jet you pay for by watching our sponsors and buying our team gear and spending the next few weeks yachting around the Mediterranean, skiing in Aspen and attending Hollywood and Manhattan parties with people much smarter, richer, better and more wokerer than you are.
ps: You’re not invited, deplorable, but please continue to support the NFL.
Ha Ha, who’s the moron now?
**Originally Posted on 24 Jan 2018**