Welcome to Super Bowl Sunday..the greatest unofficial holiday in America – to be followed by the second greatest unofficial holiday in America – Hungover and Late For Work Monday!
This years grudge match pits the Hated New England Patriots against the No One Really Cares Philadelphia Eagles. Everyone is pulling for an Eagles upset – not because they love The Eagles – but because the general loathing of the Patriots is so great that it has surpassed Baseball as the “Great American Pastime.”
The game is scheduled to kick off at 6:30 pm EST, but as any seasoned Super Bowl watcher will tell you, that means more like 7:19 pm EST because you have to have the introduction of the “Official Coin Toss Coin”, a fluff piece about the “Official Coin Toss Tossers” (it’s never just one person – apparently it takes a team of washed-up celebrities/former sports stars to flip one coin), marching bands, more last minute game analysis because they haven’t been able to get enough in, although they’ve been analyzing the Game for two fucking weeks and since 9:30 am this morning.
Oh, and let’s throw in ANOTHER heartwarming human interest story about the DB who grew up in a tough neighborhood in (fill in the city – Chicago, St. Louis, Oakland etc..) raised by his grandmother because his dad was in prison and his mother smoked Crack but he’s overcome all of that adversity to live his NFL dream.
The half-hour long halftime spectacle this year features Justin Timberlake
After The Game is over the winners will celebrate under a multi-colored confetti and balloon artificial sky – before the talking heads start talking about “next year”.
The Super Bowl is the end of the Football Season – but it never really ends, does it? Next week we’ll start hearing about Free Agency rumors, draft talk, mock drafts, coaching changes blah blah blah.
Can you say Sports Fatigue?
I can – and did.
Anyway, enjoy The Game and pass the Doritos.
**Originally Posted on 4 Feb 2018**